by Dianne M. Kipp
The most powerful gift of coaching is discovering your own truth. All of us have the ability to Live Life on Purpose, to follow our dreams, so why don’t we? We “go to sleep” and run life on autopilot. If we take time to find our “authentic self” we can make conscious choices based on fact to create purposeful lives. We must “look” and “see” the facts, to discern when “emotions and stories” are interfering with our ability to consciously choose the best next step for realizing dreams. Through 10 years of professional experience as an ontological coach, and I help people “wake up” their authentic selves and live lives with purpose.
Falling Asleep – Your Brain Working FOR or AGAINST You?
Picture an iceberg. Scientists at Stanford, MIT, and other esteemed institutions have determined that the human mind operates like an iceberg: the 10 percent that’s visible (above the surface) is your Conscious Mind and the 90 percent that’s hidden (below the surface) is your Subconscious Mind.
As infants our subconscious mind is clear, blank. As we grow and experience life, we gather information resulting in beliefs, values, and conclusions. Because our subconscious mind is capable of processing three times that of our conscious mind…the subconscious mind “drives our bus.”
In essence, our subconscious is a vast collection of unintentional, habitual thoughts and behaviors. No surprise when we are thinking about trying something new, how our mind gives us only the reasons it won’t work.
Our psyche is lef tover from Neanderthal times, when fight, flight or freeze was our defense against danger. Result: our “subconscious protector” can “scream” us into submission and keep us stuck in the past.
Learning to make conscious choices sans emotion lets us “take authentic action” to get what we desire, with confidence, clarity, and ease.
Waking Up
Becoming “conscious” or “waking up” involves spending time “mindfully”. Getting quiet and focusing your attention on your breath, allows your mind to settle and brings awareness of your thoughts. Ask yourself, “What do I want to leave as my legacy?”
- Get clear on what matters most to you, prioritized to the top three items.
- Recognize your “Monkey Mind,” (fabricated worse-case stories) and discern facts from fiction before choosing next steps.
- Focus your attention and energy on getting the top three done.
Choosing to live life consciously is a most courageous act. It enables you to lead and live your life on purpose. Determining what matters most, and demonstrating your most authentic self is your personal “roadmap” for discovering that purpose. It ignites your passion to “get busy” leaving the legacy you intend.
I’m blessed to live my life on purpose: coaching others to discover and live their purpose. Here’s how you can “coach yourself” to get “unstuck:”
While being “mindful”, ask yourself these questions when feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or undecided. The key is to answer while looking inside for the “truth.” Be honest with yourself, no one else is listening.
- What is the absolute worse part of this situation for you?
- What do you hate or dislike most about it?
- Keep going; by continuing to ask “What is the worse part?” and “What do I really hate about this?” you will begin to see what lies at the base of your belief.
Examples:
• I feel trapped.
• I don’t want the responsibility.
• I want freedom.
• Things don’t change.
• It costs too much money.
• Someone else won’t like it (mother, husband, friend). - Now, look at what you discovered. Is it based in current fact, or an old idea?
- Ask, “Is this still true for me?” If ‘yes’, is it OK with you? This lets you see your own truth, rather than acting from an old idea. If it is still true and you’re OK with it, great! You are conscious, awake, and clear.
- If there is something you want to change or share with someone, what might that be?
- Are you willing to make that change or have the conversation to take the next step toward getting what you want? If “yes,” commit to a date when you will do it.
- Congratulate yourself for moving forward, and ask a friend to check with you on your success. Then celebrate together on getting it done!
How can this be applied to relationships?
Ask yourself these questions, answering either “Yes” or “No.” There is no option for “maybe.” Listen to your heart; the answer is there, I promise.
A. Is this person “it” for you? Meaning for the “rest of your life.”
B. Is this person’s energy supportive of you and your intentions?
C. If yes, great! Isn’t it awesome to know you are sure?
D. If no, and you feel it, and you want to make a change, you must let the person know.
Stepping forward with compassion and in full truth allows both of you to decide the next steps. A simple statement, “This is not working for me,” prevents blame or feelings of guilt for both of you. You may discover it is what your partner wants as well. Either way, your honesty gives him or her a choice. Not easy, but truly the kindest and most compassionate thing you can do.
Life is Short, Live it Well
Living life purposely is a most satisfying feeling. Just a few examples of how ignoring negative mind chatter moved me from “dreaming to reality”.
- Owned a live-aboard sailing-snorkeling business in Caribbean.
- Founded Follow Your Heart Journeys and Dianne M. Kipp, LLC (the work of my dreams!).
- Led adventure tour/retreat groups for women.
- Rode a 100-mile bike ride at 65 honoring my dad, raising $4000 for JDRF.
I leave you with an invitation to live your life on purpose by choosing “mindfully” to do so. “Being” your authentic self, “doing” what you love, and “having” what you desire truly is your choice.
Are you willing? Sure you are, so go ahead and do it! Now that’s being Courageous!
